[Pil-pc-oceania] God and Lawns

[Tamara Griffiths]

God and lawns----A MUST READ
 
GOD:  Frank,  you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world
is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions,
violets,  thistle  and  stuff  I  started  eons  ago?  I had a perfect
no-maintenance  garden  plan.  Those  plants grow in any type of soil,
withstand  drought  and  multiply  with  abandon.  The nectar from the
long-lasting  blossoms  attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of
songbirds.  I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all
I see are these green rectangles.
 
St.   FRANCIS:   It's   the  tribes  that  settled  there,  Lord.  The
Suburbanites.  They  started  calling your flowers "weeds" and went to
great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
 
GOD: Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract
butterflies,  birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive
to  temperatures.  Do  these  Suburbanites  really want all that grass
growing there?
 
ST.  FRANCIS:  Apparently  so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it
and  keep  it  green.  They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and
poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
 
GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really
fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.
 
ST.  FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they
cut it-sometimes twice a week.
 
GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?
 
ST.  FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in
bags.
 
GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
 
ST. FRANCIS: No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
 
GOD:  Now,  let  me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will
grow,  and,  when  it  does  grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it
away?
 
ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.
 
GOD:  These  Suburbanites  must  be relieved in the summer when we cut
back  on  the  rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth
and saves them a lot of work.
 
ST.  FRANCIS:  You  aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass
stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water
it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
 
GOD:  What  nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a
sheer  stroke  of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves
in  the  spring  to  provide  beauty  and  shade in the summer. In the
autumn,  they  fall  to  the ground and form a natural blanket to keep
moisture  in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural
cycle of life.
 
St.  FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a
new  circle.  As  soon  as  the leaves fall, they rake them into great
piles and pay to have them hauled away.
 
GOD:  No.  What  do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the
winter to keep the soil moist and loose?
 
ST.  FRANCIS:  After  throwing  away  the  leaves, they go out and buy
something  which  they  call  mulch.  They  haul it home and spread it
around in place of the leaves.
 
GOD: And where do they get this mulch?
 
ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
 
GOD:  Enough!  I don't want to think about this anymore. St.Catherine,
you're  in  charge  of  the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us
tonight?
 
ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber", Lord. It's a story about....
 
GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St.Francis.
 
Tamara Griffiths 

Permaculture designer



 39 Wattle Tree Road

 Bunyip 

 Victoria 3815

 03 5629 5918

 0407 45 7707 

scarletwoman at hotmail.com



Check out our pics at:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/boodicusducky/



"Be the change you want to see in the world." Gandhi



"Will it be believed, a hundred years hence, that such a state of things existed?"  Louisa Lawson, Australian feminist and suffragist. Her son was a famous poet.



"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." Albert Einstein



"If you think you're too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito." Dali Lama



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